A Tale of Two Christmases

by Harrold "Haole" A`hole

The Christians are revolting.

Some American Christian organizations appear to be easing back into the tried and true stance of the Taliban, enforcing religious practice and deciding for the rest of us what are acceptable, government-enforced religious practices.

The current (and long standing) battle is over Christmas. There is clearly a tale of two Christmases in the United States:

Secular

Religious

  • Santa Claus

  • Reindeer

  • Frosty the Snowman

  • Shop till you drop avarice and consumerism

  • Red and Green

  • Tree

  • Wreath

  • Ornaments

  • Snowflakes and a White Christmas

  • Jingle Bells

  • The Grinch

  • Scrooge

  • Baby Jesus

  • Manger, no room at the inn

  • Bethlehem

  • Three Wise Men

  • Gifts presented to God

  • Guiding Star

  • Messiah

  • Angels

  • Midnight mass

  • Silent Night

The Christian Taliban hates secular Christmas and thinks that the government should allow "public" displays of Christmas, putting Christ back into Christmas. It doesn't matter that every home and every business is entirely free to publicly display its sentiments regarding Christmas. It doesn't matter that so many who do create such displays either take the secular route or have converted Christmas into Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays and other evil greetings of general goodwill.

The Christian Taliban does not care that Christmas has origins in pagan winter festivals and the winter solstice.

The Christian Taliban does not care that this nation was founded on the principle of non-establishment of religion by the government.

The Christian Taliban does not care that most people in the U.S. who do celebrate Christmas have chosen the secular holiday over the religious one.

The Christian Taliban wants the schools, courts, city halls and other government-run entities to promote Christ during Christmas. Apparently, when your faith is weak, it is important to seek religious guidance, comfort and wisdom from government bureaucrats who bring us Christian ideals like the America of their imagined days of old. That was the time when all were created equal, unless you were a native, a slave, a woman, a child or a poor immigrant. It was a mythical time when their imagined government was run by Christians and the Founding Fathers created a Christian Republic and all of the Christian sects got along.

The Christian Taliban thinks that the minority should be able to oppress the majority and the majority should be able to oppress the minority.

The Christian Taliban cannot understand why those who are not Christian zealots may find forced taxation to purchase, display and celebrate Christmas something that's best avoided. The Christian Taliban does not understand the life, words or sacrifice of Jesus or Thomas Jefferson.

My experience is that most Christians do not suffer such delusional thinking and understand that the reason the U.S. has been so great is that it allowed all religious and non-religious people to live free and practice their faith or lack thereof as they desired. They understand that faith comes from their heart, family, friends and the myriad religious groups and stories of old, not from the heavy hand of government.

Most Christians understand they wouldn't want their tax dollars being spent to celebrate every other non-Christian holiday. They don't want to be taxed to celebrate the birth of Haile Selassie, the God (Jah) of Rastafarians who use marijuana (ganja) to elevate their spiritual reasoning. They don't want teachers explaining animal sacrifice or voodoo or celebrating the rituals of the Christian Ku Klux Klan with their children. They don't complain when a judge fail to post Islamic laws inside a courthouse. They don't demand obedience to Allah or Zoroaster.

The Christian Taliban, of course, understands all this. They just don't care. They are intolerant and ignorant. They do not love. They do not heal. They do not sacrifice. They throw stones. They judge. They'll fade away...

America is great despite these perpetrators of hatred and uncompromising self-righteousness. America is great because it protects the rights of its citizens. America is great because the Christian Taliban may bitch and moan as it is their right, but they will never have their unjust wrongs inflicted upon the citizens of this great nation.